I think when reading these things there's an unspoken thrill of peeping. Like you'll find something out I don't know. And hey maybe you will. Do let me know. Gently. But it's true, I will tell way more to a blinking cursor than to a group of faces. So every now and then I promise to give you a little dirt.
Emotions tend to roil around when traveling, particularly in my acid bath of a stomach, but that is part of why I'm doing this. I put relentless value on the future. "It'll be better when." Although I've read and reread, quoted and encouraged the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, I still struggle with the present. I have for a good 30 years, tried as Jack Donaghy does, to "crush a problem with my mind vice." Only my mind vice just caused my stomach to burn.
I'm sitting here in my rented room, with a little bit of cat splatter on the comforter but I've seen worse, thinking and crushing. What's next? Tomorrow I go here and then I'll be there. Why can't I just be here now?
I can. Listen to Eckhart.